3.1.09

My mom and I did about the most St. Joe/redneck thing you could do on a Sunday. We went to a chili cook-off. Now, I can't poke too much fun. I see the draw. It's a lot of really, really good chili. And that's fine. And I can't make fun of the people who go to it. But it's just not my bag or my people. Maybe when I'm 60 and turn in my ironic shirts for overalls. Maybe.

2.28.09

I like to think of myself as a simple man who doesn't ask too much.

For years, I've just wanted to hear Jimmy Eat World perform "For Me This is Heaven" live. They announced back in November/December the "Clarity x 10" tour. I could not wait. I got my tickets for Chicago, made the arrangements, etc.

If you know me, planning is something I rarely do, so this was big. I ended up selling the other ticket I got because it was just in case maybe I would find some random lady that would like to hear one of the best albums made in the last 20 years performed in full, live. It didn't happen. That's fine. I'm good flying solo.

So I'm ready to go. I'm an hour and a half into the trip to drop my stuff at my sister's house in Bourbonnais, Ill. Then my car shakes and bam! The tire pops.

Somebody from a local tire store comes over to help me put on the spare. I'm not freaking out. It's a tire, it can be easily replaced. But wait. It's a broken strut that lowered itself onto the tired and basically turned it into shredded beef. That will need fixed and there are no mechanics open on Saturday. Basically, any hopes of fulfilling my 7-year-old dream have been crushed to a fine dust.

I dunno. I'm still upset. My friend and blog pal Kate has probably written a great post about the concert, but I'm just too crushed to read it because I know it had to have been beyond amazing.

I haven't been this torn up since, well, last February. And that's why this month can suck it. I just wanted to hear the album live, in full. I just wanted to hear "Goodbye, Sky Harbor" in its 12 minute glory. Gah. And in Chicago! Bleh. OK. I'm stopping now.

2.27.09

I'm probably late with this - but really - Chocolate crosses? Mmmmm....nothing like savoring what men were crucified on. Specifically the reason for Easter, good ol JC. I'm not usually prone to reacting to something so trivial, but this is just bad judgement.

2.26.09

I'm sorry this is so blurry. But apparently the paper has this guy named Marty and on Mardi Gras, he becomes Moon Pie Marty and passes out moon pies. If only every day was Mardi Gras.

2.24.09/2.25.09

Nothing today.

2.23.09

I love this baby. I can't remember his name (they might say it on the video). But he is cute as a button. Here is a video of him finding his reflection very, very entertaining.

2.22.09

Pizza. With church friends. Pretty self-explanatory.

2.21.09

A novel idea if there ever was one in St. Joseph. Every year they hold a Mardi Gras parade where the local drunks and families (a fine combination) come out and freeze their asses to watch the floats go down a few blocks downtown. Honestly, though, it's an event in The Joe and its well-meaning.

So I have to cover it for the paper, which is no problem. But I loved this exhange, of sorts between an unattractive older lady and me.

Let me set the scene. I'm walking down the sidewalk to get back to the paper. It's cold outside and I am frigid. A group of people are to right of me, preparing for the celebration, that when I hear this:

Older, Unattractive Lady (to me, apparently): Show me your beeeaaads!
(I continue walking, pretending she said nothing)
O,U L: Hey! I'm talking to you! .... Gee wish I could pretend like no one's talking to me!
(Continue walking)
O, U L: Wish I could walk around with a giant stick up my ass............
Guy That Was With OUL: I don't know. He looks like he works for the FBI.

I assume he thought I was an FBI agent because I had a Press badge on. I dunno. It was odd. The only thing stranger was two floats that were mere feet apart each with "sexy" ladies on them dancing and each playing equally terrible Nickelback songs (Seriously, look up the lyrics to "Something In Your Mouth" and try to fight the urge to end your life).

2.20.09

The Shamrock Shake has returned to McDonald's! Yes We Can!

2.19.09

Today I had to go to this sleepy little Amish town in BFE, Missouri when a guy murdered another guy. I had to interview the neighbors who were quite interesting. This street looks like the remnants of the old West that left long ago.

2.18.09

It's not always the big victories that matter, it's the small ones that really keep me going. Take, for example, this one. I was in desperate need of caffeine and went to get a Diet Mountain Dew (they taste terrible, but I'm not a coffee or tea drinker, so bear with me). So I see one bottle hanging over the edge like a suicide jumper giving his last words. And I notice with my wit and cunning that another bottle above it would correctly knock this sucker down and give me double the pleasure and double the shakes.

I put in the correct change, push the buttons and Bam! Win two for the good guys. Pardon my slightly creepy whispering and that I sound like a moron who just won several tickets at the "Wack-A-Mole" at Chuck E. Cheese. My days are nary as exciting as this.

2.17.09

Well, it was announced today that, like all newspapers, we're getting the shaft. We need to cut back. So that means furloughs and pay freezes. Oh, fun. So I guess I know what I'll be using when I go to Ohio. So I use this as my background to keep my spirits up. I love you Bret and Jemaine.

2.16.09

Monday night group. Learned some things about friends I had no idea. Pretty good stuff.

2.15.09

Sam came over to print off directions and so I could give her a goodbye mix CD. I rushed it and felt it wasn't right. But then again, I kind of felt the same way about her leaving. But I think she's doing what's good. I can't blame anybody for leaving to follow their dreams.

2.14.09

Welp, Valentine's Day strikes again. A lot less worse than, say, last year. But nonetheless, one of my best St. Joe friends, Sam, told me she's leaving for Portland, Oregon. And she's leaving Sunday. So I spent my Valentine's Day working then helping her pack. One of these days, I swear I'll have a good February 14.

2.13.09

Met some church folk at the local bar after work. It was supposed to be me and another guy and some girls. Welll, it was just me and a bunch of girls. I was basically the gay friend who isn't gay. But, it was a good time. I'm not complaining.

2.11.09

Nothing happened. I was still pretty sick and sat at work. Ah, fun.

2.10.09

Was sick. Resorted to watching the karaoke channel. It was a sad night for my dignity.

2.8.09

Have an awful cold, tried to use a Neti-Pot. Too stuffed up. Bad fail.

2.7.09

Had to cover a fallen soldier's funeral, which is never fun. Brought back alot of memories of my friend who died in Iraq and all of the sadness and questions that followed. When I saw the family after the funeral, I dunno, almost lost my composure. You just want to tell how much your heart goes out to them and how tough it is but how much of a hero he is. But, I dunno, you know they've heard it a million times and from many strangers. Hopefully, the article I wrote did him justice.

2.6.08

F'ing beautiful day. Beautiful weather. Perfect. And in February, nonetheless.

2.5.09

Tonight, Sam (equipped with cancer stick) had a really, really good long talk till way into the early morning. It was really, really good to have one of those nights where you just kind of are able to get everything off your chest. And now she's leaving for Cali in a few weeks.

2.4.09

Went to this seedy bar called the Rendez-Vous with my friend Autumn, who I haven't seen in a long while. Good times, not quite as good as what this guy had. Oh arcade game, your cooly goodness.

2.3.09

Nothing happened, nothing even remotely exciting.

2.2.09

Cleaned my room. I know - 11 days of waiting for this? Please, contain your excitement.

2.1.09

It seems wherever I go there are always a ton of Steelers fans. St. Joe is no different. Of course, I'm pretty sure I'm the only Browns fan.

Anyways, went to a few places for the Super Bowl including friends that looove the Steelers. And food, such as what's pictured above, was served.

Despite the Steelers ultimately winning, it was a lot of fun. Funny commercials, a great game and good people. Am I disappointed Pittsburgh pulled it off? Yes, because my Steelers friends will hold it over my head like sword of Damocles, but no, because they really played a clutch game and Arizona gave it up with a ton of penalties.

Good times, good times.

1.31.09

Wow. Today was an absolutely nice day weather-wise. Or so I hear. I was inside writing stories.

Anyways, yet another night, another new bar. This one was The Muny. A very typical townie dive bar. It was Diana's (left) birthday. That's her boyfriend Andrew (Good name, right). Both part of the Monday night small group and both good people.

1.30.09

Went to, by far, the best bar in St. Joe - The Tap Room. It's classy (it has it's own shoe shiner!), smoke-free (very, very rare here where there's no smoke-free ordinances) and they make a mean White Russian.

So me and News-Press folk played some shuffleboard like we were 65. I was dreadful. Didn't score a point.

1.29.09

This is something I had to do for a story. The local fire department just got this robotic dog to teach kids about fire safety. It's alot like Teddy Ruxpin with the dead-behind-the-eyes stare and mouth that doesn't quite move in motion with the person talking. And when he's not talking, its mouth still keeps moving like a raver on E. Still, it gets the kids' attention.

And yes, the gym we were in really was soaked in the yellowest flourescent lights I've ever seen. It hurt my eyes walking in there, I half suspected it to be a mosquito light convention.

Oh and here's a video I took. I swear the kids were alot more interested once my camera stopped rolling.

1.28.09

Today, I had to make a ton of calls to prospective sources for some stories I'm doing. As always, I'm always nervous doing that type of nonsense, so when I'm not squeezing my Chipotle stress reliever, I draw those crappy 3-D squares and triangles everyone thought was so sweet when they first did them in third grade.

So once again, vital information for your life.

1.27.09

I hate slow days, meaningless posts and stupid pictures of pets (unless it's lolcats, of course). This is all three. The family cat/hellion Jack has found a new place to sleep - my room. Fantastic.

1.26.09

OK. I haven't been keeping up with this for the past few days. I have my excuses.

Anyways, this is a terribly blurry picture of some of the folks in my Monday night small group. We gather, eat, talk about life, our beliefs and whatnot. It's really good just to kind of hang out and talk with other people about that kind of stuff. This week, and in the coming weeks, we're just talking about our journey and how we ended up in this ridiculous city. Interesting stuff.

1.25.08

Standard day off. Watched "Arrested Development" with Mom. Had a good dinner. Went over Sam's and we watched "In Bruges" (Great movie) and just sat around watching a ton of Youtube videos. Sometimes, days like these are needed.

1.24.09

Nothing happened today. I ran out of stuff to take pictures of on slow days. I won't bore you with anything to make up for it.

1.23.09

Tonight, went to one of Sam's friend's birthday parties. She can be seen with her friend Jessie doing "the trashbag."

It was good fun. Met new people. Had some laughs. Sat in a chair when the drinks started catching up with me. Hence, this picture.

1.22.09

So my friend Sam likes to go to the bars some nights. As said before, I'm not a bar person. But I go cause what else is there to do in the Joe? Anywho, Sam doesn't seem to like crowded bars and getting hit on by a ton of guy. So where do we go? The gay bar.

Now the bar is appropriately (?) called The Shaft. Yes, The Shaft. Anywho, it was a Thursday night, which apparently is drag queen night. So there's lots of lady man ladies dancing to ridiculous club tracks and lip-syncing. This one in particular caught my eye as it was clearly an older fella and the picture makes him/her look particularly frightening. I guess even moreso because my flash caught some dudes forehead and not my intended subject (Damn you, Canon!). Fun fact - he lip-synced "It Takes Balls To Be A Woman." Who says tastefulness is dead?

But back to the subject at hand, it was fun. The emcee, a black man-lady who really, really likes being a woman, referred to me and Sam as well as the people next to us, one of whom was Sam's ex (which wasn't as awkward as it might seem), as the straight people. He encouraged us to dance. I encouraged myself to stay seated.

So, to answer your question, gay bars can actually be fun for straight folk. Especially in cities where you wouldn't expect that kind of stuff to be tolerated.

1.21.09

Once again, another uneventful day. But here's the Copy Desk. These people are my heroes. They talk to me when there's nothing going on and help me out when I don't know what I'm doing.

1.20.09

Nothing happened today. I read this book. It's great. Makes me wish even more that I was born and raised in England.

1.19.09

Some may look down on it, but my family have a history of memories watching TV (and, obviously, other things but this is not the topic for Put-In-Bay and family vacations).

One of them is every Monday, gathering at 11:30 (or 10:30 now) and watching Jay Leno doing his only good bit - "Headlines."

It's perfect viewing for us because it has obvious humor that Dad likes while it has to do with idiots that only my Mom and I can appreciate.

Soon, Leno will be gone (or at least will be on earlier), so it's kind of sad that one family tradition will be retired. What are we gonna do now? Talk?

1.18.09

Today I went and saw arguably one of the best worst movies ever - "My Bloody Valentine in 3-D." It was gory, sick, ridiculous, dumb and a whole lot of fun.

But I went with my good friend Sam (for the record, a lady, so I do interact with the opposite sex on occasion.) and we have those usual lulls on the hour-long ride to Kansas City where you just kinda think about life or how awkward the silence is. And then she pulls out flashcards and says "Want to expand your vocabulary?" This is surprising for two reasons - A) Who carries around flash cards when not studying hours before an exam? B) Who breaks them out for leisure?

Regardless, we went through the cards twice. Once to see if she knew what the words meant and second, the mnemonic devices behind how she memorized them. I wish I could remember the words because some of them were pretty funny (One of them looked unfinished and it's meaning was something along the line of "unfinished," so it worked.) So although I did burn a few brain cells watching mindless horror, my vocabulary was expanded, if only for a few words I can remember.

1.17.09

Okay, with this I tried to capture what a bar looks like when it's so full it has to turn a ton of people away. I failed miserably.

But I do want to say, I went out for my friend's birthday party to a local bar. It's arguably one of St. Joe's more popular bars. And there can be no argument that it's by far the most uncomfortable.

I don't know what it is about some bars, the same went for Kent (so, yes, Ohio is not off the hook), the most popular bars are usually the "bro bars." Which means lots of popped collars and crooked, straight-billed hats, which means I'll be staying home. I'm not much of a bar person and the fact that there's not a smoking ban here means if you don't smoke, you're still going home smelling like the cast of "Mad Men" minus looking dapper as hell.

So why do I complain? I don't know. But happy birthday Mary!

1.16.08

Okay, I missed a day. I left my camera out in my van (Yes, van) and unless you don't live in the East/Midwest, you know that a killer chill took over yesterday and froze everything in its path. So, no picture.

Today, (and this will probably happen alot when my days are uneventful), is kind of something that reminded me of the past. Jolly Time "Healthy Pop?" You say. What's so interesting about that?

Wellll, omniscient, non-existent voice, it kind of is.

A good five or so years ago, my friends and I took a trip to Myrtle Beach in the summer. So about 8 guys and two girls basically stayed in a room meant for three or four people. The homoeroticism was maxed out and we haven't seen the ladies that came with us since.

But I digress. One of the guys, who we'll call Chung because that's what we called him, had an eye-opening experience. Besides exposing himself to all of us after getting out of the shower (He says all the guys had communal showers at his college and he was comfortable with male nudity, so why wouldn't we also be the same?), he decided it was a good time to get royally stoned.

I'm pretty sure this was his first and last experience with pot as he basically became that "debut stoner" that finds everything funny and interesting (there's a bit with his genitals that I won't write).

To time warp a bit, my friend that supplied the marijuana was unpacking when we first arrived. His mother, the lovely lady she is, gave him a ton of food. So in between the junk food and all this unhealthy stuff was Jolly Time - Healthy Pop. It's like the person that orders a Diet Coke with the Big Mac Value Meal - once you cross that point of no return, why not go for the gusto? Probably a better explanation would be that we received all the leftovers from the "Cleaning out of the pantry" and that was the bottom barrel casualty.

Either way, we hadn't rationed out our food very well and when it came time for Chung to indulge in his stoner hunger, there wasn't much left. So I threw the Jolly Time in the microwave (I had to do it as he wouldn't get up) and ended up burning it slightly.

A few friends and I tried to make sure of its quality and confirmed, it was terrible and even without being burnt, we're pretty sure it would have been bad. So we gave it to Chung.

His only reply was "THIS IS SOO GOOD!"

And he ate all the bags.

Then he fell asleep.

He assured that was the last time he'd ever smoke pot.

He then married a girl out of high school and I never saw him again.

1.13.09

Not much happened today, so here is my desk. Yes, it's a mess, but I had research to do. So, that justifies it, in my mind.

1.12.09

So here's an odd situation, I meet a fellow St. Joseph person via the Internets, we become good friends and, in turn, I also become friends with her friend. Now, he's moving to South Carolina early the next morning. So, we play "Killer Bunnies." It makes no sense, but neither does anything that happens to me.

1.11.09

This is my Dad. He likes to sleep and does it alot, especially on Sundays. Today, we were sitting down to watch my pirated copy of Slumdog Millionaire (Great movie, by the way). He sits down ready to watch it, popsicle in mouth .... and falls asleep. This is my family.